Gonads or Go Home: The 69 Best Nicknames for Balls

Looking to liven things up with a new slang term for your testicles? Wondering if your current terminology is in line with what your fellow bros are calling their junk in private? Here’s a hint: “Sack” is pretty common. “Mr. Squishy” is… not. We undertook an informal poll to find out what guys are saying when they look down (and then sort of bend over and then look up). Respondents ranged from urologists to 12-year-old boys (two groups with an intense interest in the subject), international respondents, military veterans and regular dudes.

Yawp

Hey—we’re not judging. Whatever you call your boys, they deserve to feel loved and chafe-free. Check out Tame the Beast’s Original Nutt Butter, Nutt Butter Extreme and Nutt Butter Edibles to keep your undercarriage happy.

Nutt Butter with walnuts

Here’s what the guys told us:

Most common nicknames for testicles:

Bowling Balls

1. Balls
2. Sack
3. Gonads
4. Nads
5. Nuts
6. Deez nuts
7. Family jewels

    12-year-old boys’ votes:

    8. Giblets
    9. Dick dock
    10. Dong pillow
    11. Anything with the word “sack”

    Michelangelo's The David

      What urologists say in private*:

      12. Wedding tackle
      13. Itchy and scratchy
      14. Crown jewels
      15. Naughty bits

      Pals:

      Walnuts

      16. Tweedledee & Tweedledum
      17. Lenny & Squiggy
      18. The Misters
      19. Thing 1 & Thing 2
      20. The Twins

      Literary:

      21. Balzac
      22. Capotes

      Culinary:

      23. Basket of meat
      24. Berries
      25. Sweetbreads
      26. Clams
      27. Yam bag
      28. Meat kiwis
      29. Ham & eggs
      30. Magic beans
      31. Pork dumplings

      Wisdom from around the world:

      Uncle Jay with Walnuts in Hand Talking about Nutt Butter by Tame the Beast

      32. Cojones
      33. Huevos
      34. Bojangles
      35. Whirligigs
      36. Tarriwags
      37. Salda Crackers
      38. Nutmegs
      39. Cullions
      40. Cobblers (This one has nothing directly to do with shoemakers, but originates from “cobblers' awls,” the pointed hand-tools that cobblers use to pierce holes in leather. In Cockney rhyming slang, a word is replaced by another word that it rhymes with. Hence, since “balls” rhymes with “awls,” “cobblers” has come to represent balls. Sigh. This one really takes the long way around.)

      Yoga
      41. Bollocks
      42. Goolies
      43. Knackers
      44. Nadgers
      45. Bawbag
      46. Kangaroo apples
      47. Jizz berries
      48. Spangle blisters

      Dancer Leaping

      Completely made up:

      49. Slappers
      50. The devil’s figs
      51. The whore’s doorstop
      52. Librarian’s handwarmers
      53. Splatter platters
      54. Penis boobs
      55. Crotch nugs
      56. Ova-he’s
      57. Bro-varies
      58. Hoonganoongas
      59. Gushnutskis

      Nutt Butter and Baguette and Jay

      Basic but classic:

      60. Spunk bunkers
      61. Coin purse
      62. The two amigos
      63. Stones
      64. Nards
      65. Marble bags
      66. Thrusters
      67. Tackle
      68. Landing gear
      69. Chin warmers

      Did we miss any? Leave a comment with your favorite nickname for your own dangly bits.

      Chris Mazdzer

      * Turns out there’s not such a vas deferens between urologists and the rest of us after all.

      Comments

      7 comments

      Felix

      This is the best thing I’ve ever used after a wax or shave! Been using it daily since it came out. I used a little on the crack this morning for the first time as a few on here have suggested… 🤭

      Felix

      This is the best thing I’ve ever used after a wax or shave! Been using it daily since it came out. I used a little on the crack this morning for the first time as a few on here have suggested… 🤭

      Brandon Dorton

      Chin Chimes, Grease gun and ball bearings, the bug oak and acorns!!

      Dutch

      Johnson and the twins

      Larry Berrones

      Low hangers, hangers depends on how low a guy but sack hangs. The more it hangs the cooler it looks and here the best part, time to put on the nutt Butter and keep the boys happy, and smelling good. It’s a guy thing.

      Eric

      When examining them my Dr. refers to it as “checking my nuts.” I usually say “nuts,” “balls,” or “boys.”

      John

      Reece’s Pieces

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